A short while after waking this morning, as I sat on my yoga mat asking to be inspired for the day, I suddenly remembered a dream I’d had last night. In an instant I got a download of all the details of the dream and what it meant for me. It was really fascinating and I’d like to share it with you.
You see, every night when I go to bed, before I lie down, I have a little ritual. I give gratitude to myself and for my day, I forgive myself for any illusions or ways in which I have been hard on myself, I ask for support as I follow my path and in particular, I ask my spirit guides to provide me guidance during the night.
In my dream last night I was in my old primary school in Ireland – the school I went to from the age of 4 to 11. It was a small school with only 3 classrooms. I was an adult though in this dream and I was there alone, early in the morning.
Standing on a small ladder I started to hang something up on a wall, which, in this dream, was a partition wall between two classrooms, made up of many sections. As I tapped a nail into the wall, with very little effort, the whole wall, spanning the entire room, suddenly fell down at my feet!! I gasped with shock. I was now standing in the middle of this big space, the next classroom fully open.
And then, to my shock, in the next second, the next wall in front of me suddenly collapsed. I stood there aghast. I could now see through the whole building, not a single internal wall left standing. And then, suddenly, before I could even react, part of the outside wall straight ahead of me collapsed and I could see straight out into the daylight.
I was so shocked and scared. I could feel the space and the emptiness. There was freedom but there was also fear. I could see the daylight in front of me but I was scared by so much space around me. I felt vulnerable. What would people say? How would they react?
I rushed to reconstruct the walls myself!!
By the time people arrived at the school I had reconstructed the walls. No one knew they had fallen. No one knew I had reconstructed them.
Shortly after, I was sitting down in the middle classroom. I observed then with amazement as a teacher folded and pushed back one of the partition walls to the side and opened up the space again. I laughed at how easy and perfect it was, and again how spacious it felt with no effort on my part.
My dream ended.
You may have your own thoughts on the symbolic nature of this dream. For me the walls represent the walls I have put up in my life, many from early childhood, in primary school, due to conditioning, emotional hurt, and misinterpretations. Many are the limiting beliefs I continue to hold about myself and what I can and can’t do. Some are defense mechanisms to avoid letting too much love in or too much of my internal world out. Some are the challenges and difficulties I see or imagine between me and my dreams. Some are real but most are illusions.
When those walls fell, there was nothing standing between me and my light or my dreams. So much freedom and potential! I got a taste of that potential and the reality that those walls are paper thin, able to drop at any moment, with no effort at all. I got to feel how clear and open my path is, straight ahead, standing alone on the top of my ladder!
But I got scared – scared of that greatness, that potential to step into my light! This is called a light shadow (as opposed to our shadows that we often consider dark, ugly and unlovable). It felt very vulnerable to stand high on that ladder and own all of me.
I rebuilt the walls between me and my joy and greatness, myself!! No one else put them there despite perhaps my thinking sometimes that others or life itself makes things difficult.
The walls also represent safety. We need these walls and certain defense mechanisms to feel safe. They provide shelter and comfort. They provide the cavern in which we can come home to ourselves, reconnect and re-source our energy, light and inspiration. They are not wrong or weak. We can choose though, when they serve us and when they don’t, when we can let them down and move forward.
What I found interesting in this dream was that it was not hard to let these walls drop, I didn’t have to fight for it and push through, and sometimes they were actually moved for me!!
So, I ask myself, having seen the light, and knowing that the walls are not so thick and not so hard to let down, do I dare to follow my heart and be all that I can be?
I thank my guides for this wisdom that comes through my dreams!
Here is a photo of my old primary school today!! How fun to remember many childhood years here!!!