It’s not enough to meditate. We need face-to-face heart-centred group practice.

I may rustle a few feathers with this!

It is not enough to focus on an individual practice of personal and spiritual development alone! We need to also practice opening our hearts, listening to, following and communicating from our hearts in relationship to others.

We can only evolve from a disconnected, heady, materialistic, individuated society to a connected, heart-centred, compassionate, abundant community when we actually are that in relation to each other, face-to-face in real life!

We can only shift from a state of half-awake (half-trapped) satisfaction to a state of expansive, joyful, vibrant aliveness if we feel free to be fully ourselves in life, in relation to and while being witnessed by others.

stand out in circle

Your presence, simply being you and expressing your true self in the now is absolutely enough, and so the practice is not being and becoming that alone, but it is being and becoming that in the presence and with the support of others, in the messiness of life, in the face of apathy, abandon, adversity or applause.

We rarely learn or practice this at school, at home, in the workplace or in our individual practice. Therefore, we need to start practicing this together so that we can start to shift gear from just sharing inspiring quotes on facebook, to actually connecting through real, heart-inspired words and action face-to-face!

The limitations of individual practice

I imagine you are someone who has been interested in your own personal growth and development for some time. Perhaps you have a regular personal practice like yoga, meditation, Qi Gong or tapping (EFT). You look after your body through exercise, massage and healthy food. You believe in the law of attraction and you are taking responsibility for your life, your health and your happiness. You are basically doing your best to be and become the best version of You and to enjoy life. I love this about you!

Most personal and spiritual development practices focus on You, knowing your Self and connecting to your own divinity…… alone (at least at first). You need to know and love yourself before you can truly love another. If someone triggers you, you can work more on you, etc.

Now there is absolutely nothing wrong with this. Indeed I believe strongly that we still need more emphasis on personal responsibility. My own journey with yoga, bodywork, shamanism, stalking nature, astrology, the law of attraction, human design and so forth, is hugely enriching and essential for me, every day. It brings me energy, safety, peace, joy, clarity and dare I say, inspired wisdom! I admit that this is also more my comfort zone.

This kind of personal practice is, however, solely vertical. You connect to your body, your energy, your emotions and ultimately your higher Self or a sense of oneness with all. The risk therefore is that we check-out or reject the human level or parts of it to avoid pain, hurt and the messiness of being human – this is the “spiritual by-pass”. I know this one. I have definitely gone for the spiritual by-pass at times!

A true yoga practice, one that really follows the ancient yogic philosophy, brings yoga off the mat and into life. Yoga, and in particular the Tantra lineage, is in fact the art of living and embodying our divinity. The Yamas and Niyamas (which I have written lots about in the past) are all about being true and authentic in relation to self, first, and then others. But it is not enough for these to be known concepts, they must be practiced…… with others!

Trapped in a boxWithout a conscious practice with others you will likely at some point feel like you are stuck, that there is still something holding you back, that your relationships are not thriving, that abundance is not flowing, that there are too many downs, triggers and difficult emotions, and that your joy is limited.

Sound familiar? So what solution?

We need to complement our individual practices with conscious group practice; that is to complement our vertical practice with a horizontal practice.

We are not islands. We cannot do this alone. We are communal beings and conscious community is the path to massive transformation and accelerated awakening!

Why we need others to move toward our personal joy

The primary goal of life is to enjoy it, to experience it, to feel vibrantly joyfully alive. Simple, right?! So what holds us back?

You and I know that it is an illusion to seek joy outside of ourselves, through others, through doing or acquiring material things. But even when we turn to find the joy within, we get tripped up. We might blame our thoughts, our limiting beliefs, unconscious conditioning etc.

The root cause is actually something that we all have. It’s called core unworthiness.

As you reach for your joy you confront the part of yourself that feels unworthy to let all that joy in. You feel unworthy to show up that bright, that great, that successful, that much loved, and that happy. Thus you hold back and limit your joy, freedom and expansion, consciously or unconsciously with all sorts of clever strategies.

Your core unworthiness is created at a very young age. No baby or very young child seeks to hurt, wound or traumatise itself intentionally. The primary disconnect from your light, your innate goodness and greatness happened due to experiences with others, when you were made wrong or lesser, or you were hurt, abandoned, betrayed, rejected or violated, whether that was intentional or not, whether your interpretation was correct or not. It may have been in relation to your parents, siblings, schoolmates, teachers, religious figures, and so forth.

Since others were involved in your disconnection, others are critical to your reconnection.

It is so easy to get caught up in trying to hide or fix or remove your core unworthiness, or to focus on the past, and this is where we usually get stuck in ‘old school’ personal development and in an individual practice. It is not possible or even desirable to fix or get rid of it.

Here lies the power of group because these shadows will come up for you the more you dare to claim your joy, witnessed by others, just as you are in life. The key is to become aware of your core unworthiness as it comes to the surface and work through it, in the presence of and with the support of others. You then create new positive, healthy experiences and memories for your mind and body in relation to others, and you get to consciously choose your path in life, no longer controlled by the limiting beliefs. And yes, this becomes a practice, for the rest of your life!

Walk your truth

Many people shy away from group because it feels scary. I keep hearing things like, “I am not ready for group work. I need to do some more work on myself!” But of course you can’t get ready for group work alone!! It is in group that you learn to navigate group dynamics, just like it is in life that you learn to live. It’s just not possible to work with these type of shadows and feelings of core unworthiness alone – you will stay stuck with them until they can be seen, claimed, loved and digested.

As we focus on our joy and learn to use the group to overcome fears, doubts and limiting beliefs, we can harness the power of the collective to literally propel us toward our joy and our fullness. As Christian Pankhurst, the founder of the Heart IQ™ Method says, “it is like flying to Beijing instead of walking to Beijing,” the difference is that big to doing this alone.

After spending hundreds of hours this past year in heart-centred group practice, to complement my personal practices, I can say that I have no doubt whatsoever that we need each other to come into our joy and our greatness. I am blown away at the power of circle every single time and how this practice helps me to expand my awareness of myself and my true nature so that I can experience more freedom, joy and connection.

Whether you believe we are human beings having a spiritual experience, or spiritual beings having a human experience, we need to combine the two, and celebrate both! At this meeting point we reveal charisma and depth; authenticity and empathy; embodiment and stillness; wisdom and creativity; safety and belonging; love and JOY!

Group practice

Join me for heart-centred group practice!!

To find out more about opportunities for heart-centred group practice with me, check out my calendar of workshops, retreats and community gatherings – The Path of the Heart Warrior. 


In sharing this post I would like to acknowledge Christian Pankhurst for the inspiration, mentoring and training on joy and group practice through the Heart IQ™ Method. 

A life guided by heart intelligence – introducing Heart IQ in my work

I write to you today just before leaving to a 7-day intensive Heart IQ training in Advanced Large Group Facilitation in Holland with Christian Pankhurst. As many of you know, I have literally spent hundreds of hours in circle over the past year, both for my own personal development and in professional training as a Heart IQ coach. This has been the most profound and transformational year of my life. I feel changed. I am more me and more of me! And there is so much more!

Many people around me are witnessing the change and my passion for circle work but wondering what on earth it is all about. Now this is no easy task! Last weekend I ran my fifth Heart IQ circle here in Rolle and every time I ask the participants how they would describe the experience they say something like – “ah no, it’s impossible, it’s just not like anything you’ve ever experienced or witnessed before!!” Indeed, that is true. We call it going to Narnia!

You see heart intelligence can be natural and available to all of us but it is not so common that we actually experience heart intelligent relationships, work environments or decision-making! Few of us dare to really follow our hearts. We are very well trained in using our minds and this becomes the default. So much so that to tap into our heart intelligence and interact with people in this way can feel totally alien or way too vulnerable at first.

Yet at the same time this is what it feels like to truly come home! With a little practice we remember and it feels sooooo good! As we practice together and, more importantly in our everyday life, any bound energy (tension, suppressed emotions, holding back) gets released and we feel the natural high of life force energy circulating, a sense of inner freedom and an authentic connection to others.

home is where the heart is

It is crystal clear to me now what my purpose is, what drives me and what I stand for. I have discovered and continue to discover parts of me that I was completely unaware of and as a result I can start accessing more innate power to be and become all of me and create the life I want. I have been held and witnessed and loved in my vulnerability, in my shadows and in my light, and this is giving me the confidence to show up just as I am in life. In witnessing others dare to be themselves and step into their fullness I am inspired to open my heart and live life fully. I trust that life is guiding me. And above all, this journey has connected me to an amazing bunch of heartful, soulful, radically authentic people, a platform from which I feel I can open my wings and fly!


To follow your heart is not a luxury or a daydream but rather it is to be guided to live out your soul purpose.

This is accessible to all of us. I like to see it as a practice and commitment to yourself. And you are worth it!!

I believe that it takes the spirit of a warrior to dare to follow your heart in our world. There is much to hold us back from doing it. It takes courage, strength of heart, clear boundaries, perseverance, as well as vulnerability, humility, honesty and surrender. We also need a tribe of like-hearted warriors for support. I call us Heart Warriors.

As the first certified Heart IQ Coach in Suisse Romande, I am excited to bring heart intelligence into my work in many ways and in particular complement the more personal or individual heart-centred practices of yoga, meditation and one-to-one bodywork, with the group practice of Heart Circle. As a very independent and self-sufficient person, only one year ago I would have found this hard to say, but it is crystal clear to me now – we need each other to come into our greatness!

So on this Path of the Heart Warrior, there are a bunch of great ways for us to come together, tune in to our inner wisdom, awaken the heart warrior within, and raise our vibrations in the coming weeks and months. Here are some of my offerings:

Please check out all the details and dates of upcoming events on my website! I hope to see you soon :) 

And here is a video I just published talking further about what I do and why I am so passionate about it!! I’d love to hear from you if this resonates with you!


What if there were no more walls between you and your dreams?

A short while after waking this morning, as I sat on my yoga mat asking to be inspired for the day, I suddenly remembered a dream I’d had last night. In an instant I got a download of all the details of the dream and what it meant for me. It was really fascinating and I’d like to share it with you.

You see, every night when I go to bed, before I lie down, I have a little ritual. I give gratitude to myself and for my day, I forgive myself for any illusions or ways in which I have been hard on myself, I ask for support as I follow my path and in particular, I ask my spirit guides to provide me guidance during the night.

In my dream last night I was in my old primary school in Ireland – the school I went to from the age of 4 to 11. It was a small school with only 3 classrooms. I was an adult though in this dream and I was there alone, early in the morning.

Standing on a small ladder I started to hang something up on a wall, which, in this dream, was a partition wall between two classrooms, made up of many sections. As I tapped a nail into the wall, with very little effort, the whole wall, spanning the entire room, suddenly fell down at my feet!! I gasped with shock. I was now standing in the middle of this big space, the next classroom fully open.

And then, to my shock, in the next second, the next wall in front of me suddenly collapsed. I stood there aghast. I could now see through the whole building, not a single internal wall left standing. And then, suddenly, before I could even react, part of the outside wall straight ahead of me collapsed and I could see straight out into the daylight.

tunnel_light copy

I was so shocked and scared. I could feel the space and the emptiness. There was freedom but there was also fear. I could see the daylight in front of me but I was scared by so much space around me. I felt vulnerable. What would people say? How would they react?

I rushed to reconstruct the walls myself!!

By the time people arrived at the school I had reconstructed the walls. No one knew they had fallen. No one knew I had reconstructed them.

Shortly after, I was sitting down in the middle classroom. I observed then with amazement as a teacher folded and pushed back one of the partition walls to the side and opened up the space again.  I laughed at how easy and perfect it was, and again how spacious it felt with no effort on my part.

My dream ended.

You may have your own thoughts on the symbolic nature of this dream. For me the walls represent the walls I have put up in my life, many from early childhood, in primary school, due to conditioning, emotional hurt, and misinterpretations. Many are the limiting beliefs I continue to hold about myself and what I can and can’t do. Some are defense mechanisms to avoid letting too much love in or too much of my internal world out. Some are the challenges and difficulties I see or imagine between me and my dreams. Some are real but most are illusions.

When those walls fell, there was nothing standing between me and my light or my dreams. So much freedom and potential! I got a taste of that potential and the reality that those walls are paper thin, able to drop at any moment, with no effort at all. I got to feel how clear and open my path is, straight ahead, standing alone on the top of my ladder!

Man on the top of the rock

But I got scared – scared of that greatness, that potential to step into my light! This is called a light shadow (as opposed to our shadows that we often consider dark, ugly and unlovable). It felt very vulnerable to stand high on that ladder and own all of me.

I rebuilt the walls between me and my joy and greatness, myself!! No one else put them there despite perhaps my thinking sometimes that others or life itself makes things difficult.

The walls also represent safety. We need these walls and certain defense mechanisms to feel safe. They provide shelter and comfort. They provide the cavern in which we can come home to ourselves, reconnect and re-source our energy, light and inspiration. They are not wrong or weak. We can choose though, when they serve us and when they don’t, when we can let them down and move forward.

What I found interesting in this dream was that it was not hard to let these walls drop, I didn’t have to fight for it and push through, and sometimes they were actually moved for me!!

So, I ask myself, having seen the light, and knowing that the walls are not so thick and not so hard to let down, do I dare to follow my heart and be all that I can be?

Do you?

I thank my guides for this wisdom that comes through my dreams!

Here is a photo of my old primary school today!! How fun to remember many childhood years here!!!

Flowerfield Primary School

Eight keys to happiness…… really?

Cheesy title, I know! Are you curious? Is it possible to identify the keys to happiness? Scientists seem to think so. Marketing and sales people certainly like to think they can! The Government of Bhutan is giving it a go. Perhaps the subject is over-worked and yet, isn’t it the quest of every person every day?!

I would say that my whole life is committed to exploring the art of joyful living, which actually goes beyond happiness since I quite enjoy experiencing other emotions too. However, I do seek out ways that allow me to experience happiness as often as possible. Let’s admit, it’s pretty easy to get attached to it!!

So in my personal quest, here are what I, in my humble opinion, consider to be eight keys to (my) happiness*.

1. Community
I truly believe this is number 1, and top priority, even if sometimes we don’t like to admit it. For me, community involves sharing, supporting each other through the good times and the challenges, celebrating together, moving on purpose together, learning from each other, receiving, contributing and giving back. Everyone has their place. Why is it so important for our happiness? It’s in our nature. True community allows us to feel safe, connected and that we belong. From firm roots we can stand to be all of who we are. And ultimately happiness needs to be shared!

happiness-is-when-you-think-what-you-say-and-what-you-do-are-in-harmony2. Following your truth (authenticity)
To follow your truth requires you to be connected to yourself, to be clear on who you are, what you stand for, what you want and what feels right in any given moment. It is to discern between your truth and your conditioning. It is to truly, deeply value yourself and your right to be a happy, healthy you. It is to fully trust your heart and inner guidance, even as you move through limiting beliefs and fears. It is to be authentic in how you show up in life and how you relate to others. To follow your truth is to live on purpose. It allows you to be free and follow your joy. Yep, its a biggy!!

3. Embodied self expression
Happiness is not a theoretical idea. It is a physiological experience, involving hormones! You need to get into your body and feel it. Being the full and authentic expression of yourself through your physical body, energy and emotions supports happiness. For me, for example, this comes through intuitive dance movement and sound, through my sensuality and sexuality, as well as through bringing all of myself into every massage or even every hug. It is daring to explore and reveal and be moved by your magnificent and ever-changing internal landscape. It is being and experiencing all of you.

4.Self nourishment
Healthy food, fresh air, exercise, rest, laughter, a massage, a hot bath, an early night, picking flowers, gardening, painting, singing in the shower, a holiday in the sun, a walk in the park, a yummy chocolate moelleux dessert! Enjoying whatever makes your heart sing. A good dose of self-love every day is a must I reckon. Take responsibility for your happiness.

5. Intimacy
Intimacy is connecting deeply, emotionally, vulnerably to another person. It is about opening your heart to love, letting your guard down, and sharing what you really feel and who you are. It is feeling another person emotionally and energetically, and letting their love in. It’s hugging for 20 seconds or more! Intimacy can be shared without words, but being able to communicate from your heart as well massively enhances intimacy. And again, happiness needs to be shared.


6. Spending time in nature
It nourishes the soul, as well as the body and mind. Tonnes of research (especially my own experiential research of course!) shows that time in nature makes you feel more alive, gives you a sense of vitality, improves your immune system, reduces depression, and activates parts of the brain associated with balance and happiness. As you soak in the negative ions and take a deep breath of fresh air, it seems to put things back into perspective. It brings you home. We are nature after all!

7. Being present – choosing happiness
Feeling your body (physical, emotional, energetic) and focusing your mind (where you put your attention) gets you present. To be present is to be in awe and wonder at what is real right now. It is to live in the question rather than the answer. How could you ever be bored or anxious if you are truly present in every moment? To be present doesn’t guarantee happiness of course. But if you are not present you might miss the happiness! And only if you are present can you choose to be happy, to follow what makes you happy or to be surprised by it! It is only NOW that exists.

8. Time with Self
happiness-is-an-inside-job-11A little bit of time every day to be quiet, tune in and be still in yourself. This is the most important relationship you will ever have. Whether you like it or not, it is for life! It can be an exquisite love relationship that needs to be honoured. Be still within you (so that can be through movement too) and listen. Open with compassion to the learning and guidance. Here is the potential to feel connection to Source or Spirit, something beyond your physical body. I like to honour Spirit by connecting morning and evening, and giving gratitude at the end of every day. It brings me incredible stillness, trust and yep, happiness!


So there it is, my reflection on some keys to happiness. Perhaps not the definitive list though I reckon you could fit most things into these eight points, if expanded on further. But of course, please don’t take my truth for granted. What is it that makes you happy? What would you add or remove from this list? I’d love to hear.

Happiness-Is...header * as a caveat – I don’t consider these to be universal and I am focusing on happiness once you have your basic human needs met. 


I have a vision…

I have a vision I would like to share with you. It involves coming together to be and share the joyful expressions of life that we truly are.

First let me share more about what I mean by joy.

I believe that to connect to our intrinsic joy is to feel alive. To feel alive is to feel what is real in our physical bodies, our emotions and our energy in any given moment. The key word here being to FEEL whatever is moving in us, whether that be happiness, sadness, anger, numbness, disconnect, love, vibration, tension etc.

For me, to be joyfully and vibrantly alive is to be a real and full expression of ourselves, to embody and follow our truth and our longing. It is to connect authentically and intimately with others; to let love in. It is to connect to a sense of something greater than ourselves, to take inspired action and to surrender in absolute trust. It is to own all of ourselves, the light and the dark, without making any part of ourselves wrong.

To be joyfully alive is not the same as feeling happy all the time. It is not dependent on any particular emotion or situation. It is the practice of opening our hearts and a choice we make in each moment.

My vision involves creating a space where we practice opening our hearts so that we may come home to ourselves and to each other.

We are social beings. We are spiritual beings. We are complex, energetic and intelligent beings. As we open to life, the greater and the more joyful our awareness of interconnectedness, through our body, energy and emotions, through Spirit, other people and nature.

My vision is simply a reflection of life in its natural state of expression. It draws on my experience in the Heart IQ Network, my conversations with students, clients and friends, and my own life and longing. The more I open my heart and let energy and life move me, the more energy and life bubbles and fires up inside me, and the more I long to be in authentic community, to love, dance, sing, express, share, and connect. All around me, in our disconnected world, I am hearing about people’s longing for connection.

This is a vision of…..

A vibrant place, a welcoming place, a joyful place,
…a place that invites you to come home to yourself,
…a place to come home to supportive and joyful community,
…a place to authentically share the experiences and expressions of life.

A place where there’s no need to be right, only the desire to be real,
…where being me is fine, and being you is fine too,
…where no-one is trying to fix you, or advise you, or change you,
…where open hearts generate acceptance, compassion and self-love.

A place where people coming together remember that all is connected,
…where I am reminded that you are me, cleverly disguised as you,
…where your awakening is my awakening,
…where our diversity inspires us and connects us.

A place where individuals are seen, felt and heard,
…where each person is empowered to claim their fullness,
…where each one’s greatness is celebrated,
…where we remember who we are and how life can be.

A place for us to open, explore, grow, share, play, sing, dance, laugh, cry, love, and BE alive!

Elaneha Expressions Community

A vision becoming real
For many years now I have had this vision developing in my heart and mind. Little by little the universe is gifting me with clarity and practical means to make it real.

In June 2013, I asked the universe for one place where I could teach yoga, massage, facilitate small group work and create community. Two weeks later I was invited to take over the yoga programme at Elaneha, with a therapy room becoming available and a great space to host small groups and events!

In August 2013, I experienced for the first time Heart IQ circle work and the heart intelligent community created by Christian Pankhurst. This work has literally blown my mind and heart open, helped me embody my truth, clarified my vision and allowed me to experience the power of authentic community. Since then I have trained with Christian to lead this work and on the 27th April, 2014, I host the first Heart IQ practice day at Elaneha.

More pieces came together in conversations, dreams and shamanic journeys. Many more people inspired me and encouraged me. The longing, my own and others, has continued to grow stronger. More than a longing, the need to connect!

In January 2014 I wrote down and shared my vision with Brigitte, the owner of Elaneha. Hearts and visions connected. The result is Elaneha Expressions, the physical manifestation of this vision in the making.

ElanehaElaneha Expressions
At Elaneha, in Rolle, Switzerland, we will host regular community gatherings and events, Expressions of Joyful Living. These events propose to co-create safe space for people to be present and real with themselves and others; inspire and add value to people’s lives; create heart-centred, soulful community through authentic, joyful connection; and to celebrate life.

Events will be led by inspired holistic practitioners, scientists, artists, and anyone who wants and can share a meaningful experience around: Dance • Song • Music • Movement • Breath • Meditation • Story telling • Inspiration • Creativity • Nature • Spirituality • Love & Intimacy • Personal Development • Nutrition • and more as we co-create.

An invitation
So here it is – a vision and an invitation. This vision is an open sketch that requires colours and form. I invite those of you living nearby in Switzerland to join me and the team at Elaneha in co-creating this vision in ways that feel heart-centred, joyful and true for you.

The purpose of life I believe is to enjoy it, to experience ourselves. So hey, let’s dance, together!

You can get involved, propose events and find details of upcoming events at

Heart in hand


Let’s get Real – Heart intelligent, authentic living

Little kids are so spontaneous in expressing what moves in them in real time. It shifts from laughter, to sadness, to fear, to anger, to compassion, to elation. Love and energy is free flowing and abundant. We love it in children and it opens our hearts.

I say it doesn’t have to be so different when we grow up. Let’s get real. Let’s remember how to be heart intelligent and join the authenticity revolution!!

Jeff Brown inspired me with these words on facebook recently,

« Authenticity is not just a word. It’s not just a trendy concept. It’s not just a way to sell product. It’s a heartcore path. It’s a perilous journey. It’s a way of being that is not influenced by political considerations, not concerned with how it will be judged, not souling itself out for the mighty dollar. An authentic being bows down before nothing untrue. She owns her truth no matter the consequences. He is inspired from the inside out. She drowns other’s masks in her wake. It’s time to reclaim the word ‘authentic’, before it becomes as disingenuous and commercialized as the word ‘enlightened’. It ain’t authentic unless its nakedly true. »

A heartcore path

Yes ! This is a ‘heartcore path’. I call it heart intelligence. To open and listen and follow and communicate from our hearts is a practice and a choice in each and every moment, for the rest of our lives. For me, it is essential to my wellness. When I open authentically, life energy moves more freely. If I am not true to myself and expressing my truth, my body soon lets me know through tiredness, tension, anxiety or illness. I feel stuck and numb.

Nakedly true, now

To be authentic is about being ‘nakedly true’, with joyful abandon and unapologetic freedom. It reveals itself as we claim the strength of our vulnerability, take responsibility for what we experience, learn to love all of who we are and own our innate goodness.

It doesn’t mean we need to be profound and emotional all the time. It doesn’t mean we need to be open and wise and have it together all the time. It’s certainly not about being nice. It has nothing to do with being zen and at peace with all. There is no ‘all the time’. There is no should, must or ought to be. It simply means to be real and genuine with what is true for you now. Not yesterday. Not tomorrow. Now. And to own it as your own.

I'll show you mine if you show me yoursWhat holds us back ?

To dare to look inwards and reveal our truth is the path to joyful awakening. Many of us fear it though, as though deep within there are hidden dark secrets and scary shadows that, if expressed, would make us shameful, unloveable monsters. If we were to fully express all that is within we would hurt others and thus ourselves. We may lose ourselves in the flood of overwhelming emotion. Instead, we lock the door, throw away the key and even forget that door exists. We choose to be what appears worthy and acceptable and loveable.

Those closed doors actually limit us coming into the expression of our fullness. They limit our potential intimacy, charisma, attractiveness and joy. They can affect our health.

The light withinI’ll bet you though if you actually shine some light into those dark corners, you will find that they are not so scary and unloveable after all. They do not define you. Perhaps there are things you’ve done or said or held on to with shame for years, but can you
accept that you did what you could at the time ? Can you see that the judgement may be coming from conditioning ? Can you see that you don’t always act on your judgements and dark thoughts even though they pass through your mind ? Can you see that they are only one small part of you and do not define you ?

Can even a tiny part of you realise that you are innately good, through and through ?

She owns her truth. He is inspired from the inside out.

The way to truly know and embody this truth, to expand into our fullness (shadows, warts and all) and start to disarm our walls of protection, is to share authentically with others and be met with open-hearted authenticity in return. We can practice this in safe, heart intelligent environments. We can be witnessed in our authentic joy and anger and sadness and shame and power.

It is essential that as adults we learn to own our stuff and take responsibility for what is moving in us. Its not a question of haphazardly projecting out everything that passes through our minds without reflection on how it might land with others or blaming it on our past traumas. As we take a deeper look within we can start to get real with ourselves. We can begin to find strength in our shadows. We can learn self-love. We can be grateful for how others trigger us. We can be inspired both from the inside out, as well as by the reflection of ourselves we see in others.

And little by little the energy flows again. Our life force can move freely. Abundant joy can arise as we experience and witness life moving through us. We may not have clarity on what is moving us at all times, but we can be light and joyful and at ease with where we are, especially in our depths. We can laugh at our craziness.

Let’s get real about what is real! And let’s enjoy the ride, together !

On Loneliness

Finally, I stopped, and there it was, that dreaded feeling of loneliness. That feeling I kept running away from by filling my days with work and training, and stuffing the gaps with emails and facebook.

Georgina Peard by

Georgina Peard by

It took me almost by surprise. Suddenly there was no work obligation, no study to be done. Plans got cancelled. My agenda was empty. In the space created, facebook could no longer fulfil the longing I had to connect physically, intimately, joyfully.

As I felt the emotion rising I flashed through a list of people in my mind wondering who I could reach out to, to make a plan, to fill the gap. I reached for the chocolate!

As the sense of loneliness sank deeper, tears rolled down my face. A tiny voice inside cried, “poor me, on my own again, what’s wrong with me.” I felt a vast emptiness within me. It hurt. And yet oddly, at the same time, I was aware of the exquisite purity of the emotion running through me and I could enjoy how deep I was feeling.

Many of us spend a lot of energy hiding from loneliness and avoiding the dark emptiness where life seems to have no meaning. Much of the time it seems we are completely unaware of and stubbornly resisting this driving force behind our actions. We cleverly mask the fear with busyness, social events and giving more of ourselves to ensure we feel needed.

There is no shame in feeling lonely. We all feel it at times. We can be surrounded by loving people and still feel lonely. Other times we can be totally alone and not feel lonely at all. I believe that to feel lonely is to be human and a beautiful emotion that allows us to connect to our true social nature and longing for connection.

Daring to feel the loneliness

What would happen if you stop next time you notice the loneliness creeping in and allow yourself to feel that vast emptiness within you, just for a moment?

For me it feels like dropping into an abyss. My heart sinks painfully inward. I feel hollow, vulnerable, like I am this tiny soul, alone, crouched in a ball of despair on the floor of infinite emptiness. My mind plays games with me – how I’ve created my suffering.

But then as I let go into that space, rather than fight it or fall victim to it, I find myself surrendering to its grandeur. I gradually start to connect to the power and longing of my open heart. I start to realize the immensity of the space, like a blank canvas, ready to receive whatever colours, forms and patterns I dare to co-create with life. Suddenly I am aware of infinite possibility. The space transforms from hollowness to creative potential and freedom and I bask in joyful awareness.

Inevitably, this is closely followed by a slap of fear and limiting beliefs! And I’m back! The emotion has moved freely through me but I have touched my Soul, I have felt my depths, I have connected to my longing. If I dare, I have the internal fire to take inspired action.

Let the loneliness move you

It is important not to linger in your pain body, wallowing in victimhood, drowning in the drama. Sometimes we can get addicted to this. That’s not healthy either.

Feel the emotion fully in your body with a sense of curiosity. Love it for what it is, pure emotion, without analysing it. Let it move freely through you like a wave and let it go naturally. Let your emotions actually move you. To be in your body at the same time as to witness the big picture is the practice. And I admit, it is not always easy!

Get clear on the longing that arises out of your open heart.

Send that longing out to the universe in whatever way you like (a silent prayer, a journal post, acknowledging it and sharing it with someone, an offering….).

Use the fire of your longing to take one immediate inspired action step. Courageously step out of your comfort zone. This may be to dare to express your loneliness and vulnerability to another. Ask specifically for the support you need from others. Get some proper hugs. Follow the longing to actively create authentic, heart open, joyful relationships and community.

Re-commit to honouring your inner guidance system, your truth, your Soul wisdom (i.e. by following it).

Meeting your Soul

To connect with ease and grace to your loneliness, I believe, is to meet your Soul. I’ll say that again, so that you can read it slowly!

To connect with ease and grace to your loneliness, I believe, is to meet your Soul.

Perhaps then we no longer need to fear and run in circles to avoid the emptiness. We can even enjoy it, knowing the power it has to inspire us and ignite our true heart’s longing, the basis for all manifestation.