From anxiety and perfectionism to Being Me!

What if it was enough just to be me? What if it was enough just to show up? 

For any perfectionists out there that idea might seem quite foreign or even scary, and you may never have consciously reflected on it before. 

Perfectionism often goes hand in hand with anxiety. They can be mutually supportive strategies. In other words, in my desire to be perfect, I have an underlying anxiety that keeps me always striving to do better, to do more.

But as Brené Brown says, “perfectionism is not about striving for excellence, or a healthy striving, it is a cognitive behavioural process that says if  I look perfect, do it perfect, say it perfect…. i can avoid or minimise shame, blame or judgement.”

Wow! Those are pretty uncomfortable feelings alright, and most of us would do whatever it takes to avoid them. Underneath the surface then, behind the protective armour of the perfectionist, is a deep fear of revealing himself or herself to the world in case that will be judged as not enough, unworthy or even bad. And if that is the case, he or she would presumably not be loved.

Isn’t it crazy how our unconscious mind works ?!

Anxiety combined with perfectionism is an attempt to avoid  failing or not being good enough. Have you noticed though how tiring and restrictive it feels to be constantly trying to achieve perfection ? And do you ever achieve it ?

Here’s a thought. Tiredeness is a result of our efforts to be something that we are not, or to be more than we fear we are.

What is the opposite? Authenticity. Being me. Raw and naked as I come!!!

So I repeat…. What if it was Enough just to Be Me ?

I may not be perfect

Of course it is ! It always is. We may still be shamed, blamed and judged, but that does not actually mean that it is not enough or ok to be me. And it does not mean either that we will actually feel or assume the shame, blame or judgement that is coming at us from others. That’s coming from their own fears. I would say, rather, that ‘being me’ is so much more powerful and empowering than not. Brené Brown of course explains this best !

Being me is a practice of Respect.

What do I mean by this? As I show up, raw and naked, without trying to protect a part of who I might be, or cover up my shame, I am present with you. I am daring to reveal myself to you.  So as I respect, and love and  accept myself, I am naturally led to respect, love and accept you.

Being me is to be Safe.

Without the layers of protection, and commentaries in the mind of how I might be judged or how I might improve, I am radically present. I am connected to my body and my intuition, and I can therefore act and react in ways that are right in that moment, for both my safety and my joy.

Being me is Healing.

As I connect with me I begin to become conscious of what moves me. As I become conscious I can make choices to move toward what brings me joy and well-being in my life.

Similarly, as I connect with me and reveal that to you, I provide you the space to do the same, and I notice that we in fact are the same ! I see what it is that connects us rather than separates us.

Being me is the road to Greatness.

This is a recognition that is changing my life !  In an attempt to be perfect I am missing out on the real opportunity to be Great ! As I let go to reveal myself to the world and become all that I am, I am in fact discovering my innate wisdom, inner power and unique potential.

So I leave you with this thought !

 Don’t be perfect – Be GREAT !

Other related posts in this series: 

Anxiety

Stability or Anxiety? You Choose! 

One thought on “From anxiety and perfectionism to Being Me!

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