Do you ever find yourself battling with yourself to keep resolutions or make those positive changes in your life? Do you get frustrated that despite your best efforts things just aren’t working out for you like you expected? Do you find yourself annoyed, frustrated, trying to push through, and filled with inner turmoil? Or do you give up on yourself and your resolutions, filled with excuses why it’s just not for you or who you are, and immerse yourself in the old self-defeating habits?
Come on You! You don’t deserve to treat yourself with such disdain, beating yourself up. You don’t deserve either to give up on yourself or your dreams! And it doesn’t have to be so hard!
In line with my single resolution of unconditional self-love, I know there is another way. I am talking about combining self-love and the path of least resistance.
Transforming, evolving, learning, growing, experiencing – this is our journey in life. All of the downs, the hold ups, the knock backs, the quiet times, the vague times and the procrastinating, feet-dragging times, don’t mean that we are evolving or growing any less. It all contributes to an innately enjoyable and fulfilling journey when you adopt the right attitude.
What if those hold ups are all part of the process needed to allow you to be in the right place at the right time?
Imagine this journey….
Imagine getting on a bus, discovering after a few kilometres that it was not the one you wanted to take, and spending the whole journey trying to stop the bus, turn it round, resisting every bump, complaining that it was not the bus you were supposed to be on, and going over all that you should have done. In the mean time, you will have missed the beautiful scenery. You will have missed meeting new people and having unexpected conversations. You will miss seeing how the new destination is maybe even better than the one you planned. And you will have wasted so much energy and added some grey hairs in the process!!
Discipline or surrender?
I certainly believe in clear goals, vision, discipline, focus, hard work and conscious manifesting to create the life we most desire. I also believe in surrender, letting go of control, relaxing, feeling, listening, opening, asking and trusting that perhaps there is another, even better way. (This is not the same as giving up.)
We need both. There are times when focus and hard work are called for, even working through challenges. Sometimes though pure surrender is needed. Overall we need the parallel approach, both in equal proportions.
For most of us surrender and trust are more difficult. We often push and pull and control and resist until finally we have no choice but to surrender. This is the case with burnout and other stress-related health problems when our body cries out “Stop”!
So what of this path of least resistance?
In all honesty this is not the path I have known best. I too have most frequently chosen the battlefields. Perhaps my desire for passion and adventure has me seeking the adrenaline rush and I mistake it for feeling more alive. I want to make things happen quicker, sooner, and to avoid all pain and suffering!
In truth it is scary to let go, to do less, to be patient and to trust, to wait for the invitation.
And yet, wow, it feels so good! It feels like a whole new way of being, like freedom, which in itself can feel destabilizing when you have been addicted to the stress and tension of the battlefields!
So what is this path of least resistance?
Imagine walking through a maze. All is going fine – you are focused on the end destination – freedom perhaps? But suddenly you hit dead-end after dead-end. You have to push through brambles. You come to door after door that is closed. It starts to be less fun this journey! But rather than panicking or angrily forcing through a closed door, you keep alert and radically present to the signs, you manage your energy, you get intrigued by the adventure, you laugh and enjoy noticing the flowers and birds, and you realize that in fact freedom has always been there, inside you. And then, naturally, with ease a door opens, and suddenly the way becomes clearer. Then another door opens and you are moving forward into new territory again, filled with awe and wonder. Feel how your energy can be maintained and channeled to good purpose in this way.
The path of least resistance is….
The path of least resistance is one where you know what you want, you are clear on your big picture goals, on what you want to feel and be and become, but you are not attached it being the only way, nor to the how or the when. You are not set on the exact itinerary for your journey. You are open to the surprise.
You let the journey, life itself, be your guide and show you the ‘how’ in ways that you could not have known in advance. You let the universe work its serendipitous magic.
“Remember that you don’t know what you don’t know”
This is not the path of victimhood, giving up, not caring or leeching on to others. This is the path of true unconditional self-love; a path where you never lose your sense of purpose and worthiness. You honour and remember that you are here for good reason and this is being revealed to you. This is a path of trust, knowing that you are being guided, feeling and listening for the signs, so that the universe may unfold in your life and through you the absolute highest good that is seeking to manifest at any one time.
This is the path where you know to be ready to take inspired action, perhaps even courageous action, when the moment is presented, because you are ready (or at least the universe thinks you are!!)
On this path you are resourceful and economical with your energy. You are even filled up and nourished along the path by all that the journey has to offer you.
This is the path of following what truly feels good and nourishing to your body, heart and soul.
The key indicator is, “does it feel good, now?”
- Pause – Feel. Do you feel good?
- If not……Wait – Trust – Listen – Feel – Watch
- Stay focused – enjoy your longing, be clear on your goals, remember your purpose
- Wait – Trust – Listen – Feel – Watch
- When it feels good – move, take inspired, courageous action.
So maybe that longing to get up 15 minutes earlier to meditate every morning becomes available in a weeks time because this week you chose to love yourself by getting some deep peaceful sleep. Perhaps you find yourself with the opportunity to start going to bed earlier some nights because that feels really good and it starts to feel easier to get up in the mornings.
And maybe the hold ups and knock backs on you project are in fact giving you a much-needed breather, some space to reflect on your truth or to smooth out the details or an opportunity to meet a new partner who can add a whole new dimension to your work.
Pushing and shoving and resisting and raging in tantrum rarely do any good and certainly don’t feel good.
In what part of your life are you feeling the pains of resistance and fight? How about daring to try out the path of least resistance? How about daring to love yourself even more and follow what feels good when the going gets tough?
With love. Take care of you because you are here for good reason.