Today as I arrived to set up for my Heart Circle I found our space had been broken into and burgled. Cupboards were open and everything had been searched and tossed around. I had that uncomfortable feeling of shock and fear rush through my body. Instead of carrying out a ritual to prepare the energy for our circle and open a healing space for raw and vulnerable heart sharing, I had to call the police.
I was shaken.
I was even more shaken when I discovered they had entered my temple space, where I hold all my sacred bodywork. They took from my altar my Buddha, mala beads, rattle and ceremonial feather. Really strange, yes! In fact they took nothing else but these, as they found no money.
It feels like it would have been easier though to let go of money, than to feel the violation of my sacred space.
Of course, at a superficial level it is nothing important. But there is something here that goes deeper, and to let it pass by as ‘nothing’ would be to let such violation be ok, and to dishonour something very sacred. This simple burglary is tiny but it represents something so much more common and almost accepted in our society.
“I have been robbed of this opportunity,” one of the participants realised as she struggled to manage the sudden feelings. Having sought out a loving, healing space and prepared to show up vulnerably and authentically with others in Heart Circle, this unexpected violent intrusion came as such a blow to her tender heart. I get it.
It’s not ok.
I have experienced being burgled before. I have been robbed in my home twice, and from a tent once while I was sleeping. Another time I was lying on a beach dozing in the sun when I had a vision of being robbed. I opened my eyes to find a man sitting beside me taking everything out of my handbag. Freaky but I had my guardian angels helping me out!
I have never enjoyed the feeling. Interestingly, though, while I’ve always experienced the shock and adrenaline rush in my body, and then perhaps the sadness and vulnerability, I never felt anger. There is a part of me that actually finds it very easy to let it go and forgive the violator, knowing that material objects are not important. As long as people are safe, all is fine.
While this has always been my honest, authentic response in the moment, and it is helpful to act pragmatically in the situation, I realize that it could also partly be a conditioned, protective response to avoid feeling too much, especially anger (which tends to be conditioned out of us) and to stay ‘level-headed’. On the other hand, lashing out in anger or spouting out words of hate or blame is useless too and just projecting out inner violence.
However, as I have grown stronger and more conscious in myself, I realize that this conditioned response is ignoring my own sovereign and sacred being and that it is not ok to violate my boundaries and my space. I was being quite vague around honouring my own boundaries. Yes, I genuinely felt safe in myself and loving towards others, even the thieves, and at the same time, it was a reflection of lacking some access to my inner fire.
What would be a normal response?
If I have my personal sacred space violated, I consider that a normal response is to feel the pain, the anger, the disgust, and the vulnerability of such violation. A normal response is to react in fury to personal, sovereign boundaries being crossed. A normal response is fierce protection of the sacred, authentic, vulnerable and the loving heart space, and those I am inviting in or holding within this tender space. This is the same ferociousness of any mother protecting her children.
It is essential to give space to all parts to be felt and not to deny them. This way you start to access more of yourself, your inner fire and your aliveness.
Now I recognize when I might be denying something, and I give myself time and space to drop into feeling it. Now I realise that in feeling all that there is to be felt around this violation of sacred space, I am honouring the sacred feminine.
Taking time to feel and clear the energy
So, today, after spending time with the participants, dealing with the police, and observing my first response and reactions, I went to the forest and gave myself full permission to feel all that needed to be felt; to say all that needed to be said; and to hear all that needed to be heard.
At first, I sat in stillness and dropped in to access what was there in the different parts of me. As I allowed myself to feel more, I let out the roars of anger and the cries of disgust and pain. I acknowledged the fear, the hurt and the sadness. I proclaimed my sovereign power as my birthright and reinstated my boundaries. I forgave. I sat still and I listened again and again. I followed instinctively my body until I felt I was complete in my own joy and in my clarity. I felt I had owned all that was mine and let go all that was not mine. I felt grounded and like, this time, I had honoured myself fully.
Nothing of my heart or my true divine essence can be taken from me by anyone as I long as I don’t allow it, and as long as I consciously honour this goodness in me. Nothing from what I know and do with honour and integrity can be tarnished by anyone else’s judgements or disrespect. My truth is my truth.
I also did this for all of us who come into and consciously create sacred heart space.
I then went and did the same in the physical space and in my temple. I lit a candle and created an altar. I drummed and chanted and removed all unwanted energy. I reinstated the sanctity of the place. I called in the guardians of the space to fortify the energy and the safety. With every massage and healing session, yoga, meditation or pilates class, and every gathering and heart intention, we continue to fortify this energy, together.
It’s not about building walls. It is about honouring boundaries so that we can open up even more, with greater safety, clarity and conviction.
While it was not ok what these people did to violate our and my space, I recognize that something in their lives is driving them to feel such need. I pray that the energy of the space and my sacred objects bring them some positive and transformational vibes!! I will not lose energy by holding any resentment there. In fact, they would be welcome in my next Heart Circle so that we can meet eye to eye and heart to heart. 🙂
The gift of today’s experience
The gift of today’s experience is clear to me – to know and hold firmly to my sacred boundaries and my sovereign being, while at the same time keeping my heart wide open in honour of my truth, and that in doing so I am holding myself and the work I do with fierce love.
Today’s experience also rooted in me even deeper the importance of this work and the need for Heart Circles. We need spaces to feel all there is to be felt, to speak out our truth, to hear and feel it ourselves, as well as to be witnessed in our authenticity. We need each other to get through the challenges we meet in life and to create new, safe and loving human experiences that counteract some of the outer violence of this world. We need each other to remember and dare to stay open in our hearts no matter what life is throwing our way.
It’s not ok for anyone to violate another person’s space, whether that is their home, their temple, their physical body or their energetic body. It’s not ok for anyone to violate sacred space, and this includes that which may be invisible but is created by heart intention.
At the same time, nothing can take away the sacredness of our hearts, our bodies, or our intentions, as long as we choose to acknowledge and honour our own divine goodness.
Let’s keep honouring our boundaries and choosing to stay open in love – fierce love.
Listen deeply, live courageously, love fiercely.