The no. 1 priority for being happy & 6 tips for conscious wanting

This is going to seem blatantly obvious when I say it but it’s just amazing how often most of us don’t make this the number 1 priority.

The number 1 priority for being happy is to WANT to be happy. 

The same goes for everything else:

The number 1 priority for love is to want to love and be loved.
The number 1 priority for being healthy is to want to be healthy.
The number 1 priority for __________ is to want to ____________. You fill in the blanks.

It is as simple as that, really!

You’ve gotta choose to be happy. And to do that you have to KNOW that you want it!
You do NOT need to know HOW to get or have or be it.

We love to be complex. (I know I do anyway!) If we want X then we think we need to focus on Y and Z. No, No, No. If you want X then you want X and you focus on X.

Happiness is available when you choose it. Photo: Georgina Peard by Carlos Gonzalez photographie

Happiness is available when you choose it. Photo: Georgina Peard by Carlos Gonzalez photographie

Let’s unpack it a little.

1. First, KNOW what you want. 
Now this does not mean needing to do an in-depth process of your strengths and personality traits and asking others how they see you, and considering your childhood passions, and what you’d do even if your weren’t paid for it  etc. etc. etc. It’s not about finding one life purpose.

I’m talking about a higher (or deeper) level than all that. Do you want to be happy? Do you want to be a great parent? Do you want to be healthy? Do you want to feel wild and free? Do you want to enjoy life?

2. Then, OWN what you want. 
The weird thing is that we might work out what we want but then we deny ourselves that want. We don’t think its realistic, or possible, or that we are worthy of it or perhaps even that it is “allowed”. Crikey!! Watch out for the almost instantaneous backlash of “Yes but…..” and “I can’t…..” type thoughts which result in you hiding away the want.

How about just enjoying the fact that you know what you want? Let it be a dream and enjoy daydreaming about it. When you are really connected to something you want, it will feel good as you think about it. If not, then it’s not really what you want and might just be conditioning and someone else’s want.

3. SAY OUT LOUD what you want.
Say it out loud so that you can hear yourself owning this want. Write it down, sing about it in the shower, paint it in colours, make a vision board of it. Dare to share it with someone who wants the best for you. This ain’t about holding you accountable to something. It’s so that you start creating new neural pathways, like new voices in your head that are actually positive and helpful. Make this want so obvious and present in your psyche that it can no longer get stashed under a whole bunch of other daily pressures, habits and to do lists.

4. LET THE UNIVERSE KNOW what you want.
The more energy you put into feeling and dreaming up this want, the more energy gets sent out into the universe to manifest that want. That will start the whole universe in motion to help you out. It’s like some magic fairy kingdom in the sky receiving in a new command, sending them into high alert to shift destiny and deliver you with opportunities where you can keep selecting and focusing on your want. Well, however it might happen, maybe you send it out on a heart’s prayer, with a wink of an eye, on a pebble in a stream or sending the written wish up in flames. And do it regularly. Be conscious of your want daily.

5. BELIEVE you can have what you want
Ok, so this is a biggie. We could get into in-depth psychology here but that’s not the objective. We are staying simple. So if you can, or rather if you DARE, just believe that you can have or be what you want. Now this is simple actually. Because you need to use the same process again. Priority no.1 for believing in what you want is to WANT to believe in what you want. Only you can do it for yourself. Believe also that you having what you want is a good thing for everyone and serves a higher purpose. What you desire in your heart is guiding you wisely to live our your purpose actually.

6. Notice I WANT becomes I AM 
At this point notice how it feels in your body, in your mind, in your heart. The very cool and funny thing is that just this knowing and choosing and dreaming up of what you want is more important than ever succeeding in having it. In fact, it’s most often the case that just knowing it and bringing it to clear conscious attention in the now, means you already have it or are experiencing it. It is already here, right now. Or perhaps it helps you suddenly get really clear on what you need to do or say to reach for what you want.

I want to be happy. Oh actually, I am happy because I choose to be happy right here and now.

happiness want what you have

Be content today with bringing into full consciousness to what it is that you really want, above and beyond everything else. Be content and gleeful in making the WANT a NUMBER 1 PRIORITY in your life and finding ways to anchor it in your mind and heart.

There is of course a fundamental next step, and that is to make every choice from now on based on that which you want. Perhaps we’ll explore that more another day. You may notice anyway, that this just naturally happens because you are clear on the want.

So what is your fundamental want? Are you prepared to share?

 

The quickest way to happy

What is the quickest way to leading a fulfilling, happy life?

Do something that makes you happy every day. And ideally do it more than anything else!

I’m writing from the Val d’Hérens in the Swiss Alps where I rented a little chalet for myself for 4 days. What a treat. This is my total bliss!

As you may know, I schedule in a long weekend once a month to retreat and do something that nourishes me and delights me (and my soul). It is my total dream to have a chalet in the mountains. Until that happens I save my money and I dedicate it to living the dream at least once in a while!

This weekend, from the most magnificent viewpoint, in the most delightful chalet, I have spent hours in meditation, walking in nature, eating healthy food, reading great books, creating my new programme, chanting, dancing and sleeping.

Most importantly, I have spent time being quiet and listening – listening to my deep inner voice and wisdom. This has led to some spontaneous healing, awakening and self-empowerment rituals.

There are such powerful transformational energies affecting us right now. It is a beautiful opportunity to listen carefully, hold loving space for ourselves and dare to follow the inner voice.

I used to complain a lot about life and moan about work, until I realised that I am entirely responsible for my own life, wellness and happiness. I create it.

So what is it that delights you and makes you bubble with joy?

Commit to doing one thing every day that lights you up and fills you up inside!

I leave you with these wise words of Elizabeth Gilbert and her most fabulous book, Big Magic – Creative Living Beyond Fear:

“A creative life is an amplified life. It’s a bigger life, a happier life, an expanded life, and a hell of a lot more interesting life.”

Plus a few pictures from my retreat :))

IMG_2017

My retreat chalet this weekend!

View from the chalet

View from the chalet

My meditation space inside.

My meditation space this weekend

Creativity flowing! This is my new programme in development!

Eight keys to happiness…… really?

Cheesy title, I know! Are you curious? Is it possible to identify the keys to happiness? Scientists seem to think so. Marketing and sales people certainly like to think they can! The Government of Bhutan is giving it a go. Perhaps the subject is over-worked and yet, isn’t it the quest of every person every day?!

I would say that my whole life is committed to exploring the art of joyful living, which actually goes beyond happiness since I quite enjoy experiencing other emotions too. However, I do seek out ways that allow me to experience happiness as often as possible. Let’s admit, it’s pretty easy to get attached to it!!

So in my personal quest, here are what I, in my humble opinion, consider to be eight keys to (my) happiness*.

1. Community
I truly believe this is number 1, and top priority, even if sometimes we don’t like to admit it. For me, community involves sharing, supporting each other through the good times and the challenges, celebrating together, moving on purpose together, learning from each other, receiving, contributing and giving back. Everyone has their place. Why is it so important for our happiness? It’s in our nature. True community allows us to feel safe, connected and that we belong. From firm roots we can stand to be all of who we are. And ultimately happiness needs to be shared!

happiness-is-when-you-think-what-you-say-and-what-you-do-are-in-harmony2. Following your truth (authenticity)
To follow your truth requires you to be connected to yourself, to be clear on who you are, what you stand for, what you want and what feels right in any given moment. It is to discern between your truth and your conditioning. It is to truly, deeply value yourself and your right to be a happy, healthy you. It is to fully trust your heart and inner guidance, even as you move through limiting beliefs and fears. It is to be authentic in how you show up in life and how you relate to others. To follow your truth is to live on purpose. It allows you to be free and follow your joy. Yep, its a biggy!!

3. Embodied self expression
Happiness is not a theoretical idea. It is a physiological experience, involving hormones! You need to get into your body and feel it. Being the full and authentic expression of yourself through your physical body, energy and emotions supports happiness. For me, for example, this comes through intuitive dance movement and sound, through my sensuality and sexuality, as well as through bringing all of myself into every massage or even every hug. It is daring to explore and reveal and be moved by your magnificent and ever-changing internal landscape. It is being and experiencing all of you.

4.Self nourishment
Healthy food, fresh air, exercise, rest, laughter, a massage, a hot bath, an early night, picking flowers, gardening, painting, singing in the shower, a holiday in the sun, a walk in the park, a yummy chocolate moelleux dessert! Enjoying whatever makes your heart sing. A good dose of self-love every day is a must I reckon. Take responsibility for your happiness.

5. Intimacy
Intimacy is connecting deeply, emotionally, vulnerably to another person. It is about opening your heart to love, letting your guard down, and sharing what you really feel and who you are. It is feeling another person emotionally and energetically, and letting their love in. It’s hugging for 20 seconds or more! Intimacy can be shared without words, but being able to communicate from your heart as well massively enhances intimacy. And again, happiness needs to be shared.

Happiness-Is-Like-A-Kiss

6. Spending time in nature
It nourishes the soul, as well as the body and mind. Tonnes of research (especially my own experiential research of course!) shows that time in nature makes you feel more alive, gives you a sense of vitality, improves your immune system, reduces depression, and activates parts of the brain associated with balance and happiness. As you soak in the negative ions and take a deep breath of fresh air, it seems to put things back into perspective. It brings you home. We are nature after all!

7. Being present – choosing happiness
Feeling your body (physical, emotional, energetic) and focusing your mind (where you put your attention) gets you present. To be present is to be in awe and wonder at what is real right now. It is to live in the question rather than the answer. How could you ever be bored or anxious if you are truly present in every moment? To be present doesn’t guarantee happiness of course. But if you are not present you might miss the happiness! And only if you are present can you choose to be happy, to follow what makes you happy or to be surprised by it! It is only NOW that exists.

8. Time with Self
happiness-is-an-inside-job-11A little bit of time every day to be quiet, tune in and be still in yourself. This is the most important relationship you will ever have. Whether you like it or not, it is for life! It can be an exquisite love relationship that needs to be honoured. Be still within you (so that can be through movement too) and listen. Open with compassion to the learning and guidance. Here is the potential to feel connection to Source or Spirit, something beyond your physical body. I like to honour Spirit by connecting morning and evening, and giving gratitude at the end of every day. It brings me incredible stillness, trust and yep, happiness!

 

So there it is, my reflection on some keys to happiness. Perhaps not the definitive list though I reckon you could fit most things into these eight points, if expanded on further. But of course, please don’t take my truth for granted. What is it that makes you happy? What would you add or remove from this list? I’d love to hear.

Happiness-Is...header * as a caveat – I don’t consider these to be universal and I am focusing on happiness once you have your basic human needs met.